A Marriage made in hell

I wasn't sure how to go about this, no matter what I did one of the burgers was going to be significantly aged from the other by the time I got the two together, unless I do this in a food court, and provided I even found a food court with these two big boys in it I didn't want to be sitting there in public taking apart and then constructing this. Then it dawned on me... Delivery! Here in Dubai everything delivers so I called both places up and to my delight each delivery came within 5 minutes of the other. First problem sorted.

The bride and groom

The second problem. They hardly look excited, if anything it's the exact opposite, both quite grumpy and annoyed looking. Not quite believing what is about to take place. By this of course I mean that these burgers are just filth, they don't look good, they never look good unless they are paper thin and backed by neon lights, it's like ugly parents, they are just gonna make ugly kids, no two ways about it. Second problem unsolvable.

Carefully remove the crown from the whopper, remembering to scrap off any lettuce stuck to the mayonnaise

And here it is

After some freaky fast food sex we have it... the Mc Whopper, what a truly disgusting, sorry looking mutant hybrid mongrel this turned out to be. It just looks so wrong its hard to articulate, what you can clearly see though is the superiority of the whopper over the big mac here, it's bigger, looks slightly better with the tomato and 'fresh' onion and you can actually see the meat patty from all angles, the Big Mac, well it speaks for itself, a sorry little dry lump of mostly bread sitting a top a meat mountain.

And That's the Genius of it

Burger King cares as much about world peace as a vegan bikram yogi does about a horse meat hot dog. This was a ploy from the start, and quite a clever one, wrapped up in goodness, joy and friendship, McDonalds really had no choice but to decline, had they gone forward with this it would have been yet another proverbial nail in the coffin for the golden arches. This monstrosity is so much more whopper than Big Mac, it's even named McWhopper! Despite McDonalds CEO's striking resemblance to one, he's no clown

Final Seperation

Despite what you're all thinking I actually only managed to eat just under half this thing. Believe me, all you can taste is whopper, the Big Mac adds some much needed dryness to the mayotic mess that a whopper is and occassionally you get a hint of that big mac sauce but it is so whopperpowered it's hardly noticable. The fast food circus that was going on in my mouth could be handled for only so long, after a few more photos this mistake, a failed experiment and a warning to the rest of the world was expressed not only to the bin but straight to the garbage chute.

What its like straight down the middle

To sum up, this franksteinian burger mess, both creation and eating of was an experience in pure disgust and something that no decent human being should have to endure, it was like mixing coke and fanta, which you only pretended was nice ages 8 and below, in truth it was filth. Similarly these 'burgers' (and I use that term loosely) should be enjoyed (also used very loosely) on their own, preferably days apart. McDonalds, you made the right choice, this creation has nothing to do with peace, I would imagine Atlanta would erupt in all out war had this thing 'popped' up there. At the very least this crazy experiment should take place in a country with much less guns freely available to gen pop. It's a McFlopper.

Posted 14.09.2015

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